you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
