if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
