New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
