She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew