she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once