And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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