I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
