you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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