I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize