Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
