The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
