That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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