My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
