there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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