Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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