hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
