Moan for me like Helen Keller
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
