ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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