My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
