The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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