You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
