but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
