We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
