I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
