I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
