i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
