And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
