I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
