I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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