Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
