i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
