sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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