When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
