We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
