It's Friday. Sex?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
