Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
