I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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