I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
