We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
