I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.