wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers