Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
