just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
