Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she smelled like a LAN party
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.