It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.