just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
