I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
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He uses pillows to masturbate.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
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You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize