tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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