i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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