C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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