hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
