ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
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we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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