this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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