we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
