got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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