how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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