we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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