I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
