Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize