I'm so fucking centered right now
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish you could order shots online.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
