So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
