can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
