how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
