Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
