he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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