What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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