physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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