So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
