So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
