Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize