When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
