I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my shit smells like andre
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
