If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
