I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
