She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
