I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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